Conversations with My Children

Me: Stop harassing me!
Clay: Be thankful I'm harassing you. At least I'm paying attention to you!
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Me: How's Matt?
Aaron: Good

Me: How's Brad?
Aaron: Good

Me: How's Crystal
Aaron: Good
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Callie: OH MY GOSH! Clay has those glasses! (Looking at the cover of Rolling Stone)
Me: Don't you know who that is?
Callie: It's Bono.
Me: And he gave the glasses to Clay.
Callie: I know!
Me: Then why are you surprised to see them on Bono?
(And yes, I know he has many pairs of those glasses.)
Callie: I don't know.

Callie: Are we going to the Smith's tonight?
Me: No, we're going Saturday night.
Callie: Are we going to the wedding?
Me: No, we're going to the Smith's!
Callie: Are we going to the Smith's tonight?
Me: NO!

Those Are Cows

We live in a city of 250,000 people. We also live within mooing distance of a farm that often has cattle and sheep and horses and llamas roaming the pastures. It isn't unusual to see a cow here and there on a weekly bases. My parents live on a farm. Cows move about the pastures surrounding them. So do goats, mules, circus ponies, and an occasional camel and elephant, but that's another story.

The point is: Callie has seen cows and sheep before .

So imagine my surprise Sunday as we were driving in Southern Oklahoma up I35, Callie looks out the window and says "Look! They have sheep!"

"Those are cows."

And the thing is they were just plain, ordinary brown, black, red mixtures.

Not pure bred white Charolais with little white fluffy calves running around that might be confused as sheep.

And, for the last couple of hours we had been passing pastures and pastures of cows.

What was it that made her suddenly say that? Why did she make the statement in Oklahoma and not in Texas? Why did she notice the animals there and not before? What was it that made her think they were sheep? Exactly what was going through her head? Will I ever stop being surprised?

Callie's Cramp

Callie has started basketball tryouts for this year. She doesn't do any physical activities any other time of the year, so when she got in the car yesterday, screamed, and grabbed her leg I knew she had a cramp. Plus, her calf muscle was bulging and she doesn't really have calf muscles.

So, I grabbed her leg and started working on the cramp. She thought I didn't understand she was hurting and began yelling even louder.

If you passed our van yesterday and witnessed wailing, thrashing, and violent shaking, it was just us getting the cramp out. Please do not call CPS.

Callie Conversation

I asked the two youngest kids at my house if they wanted their dinner chicken or hamburger based. No one answered. This isn't unusual. I'm usually ignored unless one of them has a complaint.

Chicken was my choice. I started cooking it in an unhealthy way to make my youngest kid happy. He is my biggest complainer and sometimes it is just nicer to not have to hear it.

Callie came over to see what I was cooking. If it is something she can stir, open, or chop she wants to be in the middle of helping. It wasn't, so she moved back to the computer.

About thirty minutes later this conversation took place.

Callie: What's for dinner? Chicken or hamburger?
Me: What did it look like I was cooking when you came over to see?
Callie: Chicken.
Me: So what do you think is for dinner?
Callie: Chicken?

Just When I Think I Can't Be Surprised...

On the way to school today Callie picked up a picture and asked who it was.

me: Myrna Loy and William Powell

Callie: Are they alive?

me: no

Callie: Are they dead?

Monday's Callieisms

Callie: Dad, I need go school 7:30 Wednesday for party.
Phil: I know, your mother is going with you to the party.
Callie: No, I need be at school 7:30 Wednesday for party.
Phil: We know, your mom is going with you to the party.
Callie: What party?

Me: Callie, you drew Amiee's name for Christmas.
Callie: When do I have to start drawing?